Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Quiet

It's been a quiet couple of weeks for me. Thankfully, not because I was binging or anything, but just because with no money I wasn't doing a lot.

I'm pleased to report that I've kept to everything while I've been gone. I haven't had McDonald's or deep fried food and my friends and I did meet up at the lake on Wednesday as planned. A down-turn in weather and M going to Indonesia for vacation means we're not doing it today, but we'll be back to things when she comes back. I like the rules I have in place right now, the no deep fried thing means a LOT of the food around work is cut out, but it doesn't leave me feeling like a failure if I make a not so perfect choice here and there. I've struggled in the past because I tend to think 'well, if I'm not doing it perfectly I may as well not be doing it! Let me go comfort myself in this pan of brownies instead' Where as now I have more flexibility, but am still mindful of what I'm eating.

I haven't lost masses of weight, but what I have lost really seems to be making a difference to my clothes. Things feel looser, and there were one or two items that weren't wearable in public before but now are. My total loss is quite small at the moment, I was 119kg when I started and am 114.8kg now. I like knowing numbers, but they can drive me crazy too! I was actually really pleased with myself a few days ago because I had 114.5 on the scale one day, but then it jumped back to 115.6 the next day! Usually this would be the time when I would freak out, and then quit the next day when it didn't go back down. This time I stuck to it, and now I'm back under 115 which makes me really happy. Looking back on my food the day before I saw the 114.5; it wasn't a realistic weigh in. The day before I had eaten mostly fruit (smoothie for breakfast, fruit through work when I could grab a minute on my busiest day, then I was too tired to make a proper meal so I had whizzed up some pineapple and lemon in the blender) so I was bound to see a falsely low reading the next day.

I'm really glad I didn't let it derail me the way I usually do. I don't have a regular weigh in day as it tends to induce panic the night before which just makes me want to eat. I try not to weigh myself every day, but check in now and then to keep myself on track and check progress. I (briefly) joined a weight-loss challenge one Sparkpeople, but then had to quit because it was messing with my head too much, which was leading me to eat unhealthily. I've done challenges before that have really worked for me, but it would seem it's not for me this time round, at least not at the moment.

I got my new cash card! I feel rich because I can access my money again, which isn't great because I'm not rich and probably shouldn't be spending too much. The trick now will be keeping the balance up even though I've got money to go out with friends and eat at restaurants again. I dropped my external hard drive the other day and now it's broken and I have to buy a new one. This was annoying because it's not very old and only dropped about a foot off the sofa, but I have a tile floor. The fact that I've had to shell out for a new one means my extra frugal days are not behind me just yet, but pay day is a-comin' and I'm due my re-sign bonus of a month's pay; it's going to be great! I will be sending all my saved money home in June to go towards future university costs, so it will be really nice to see the jump up in my little nest egg.

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