Saturday, September 5, 2009

Facing Forward

Late last night I managed to convince myself no to go the supermarket 'to get ingredients for today's meals' because I knew that reason was just an excuse to get junk so I could have a 'last supper' before taking control of myself. I knew there was nothing stopping me from just going today (which I did), and I also knew that if had I binged last night I would have talked myself out of getting on my exercise bike today. I would have told myself to wait until Monday, and on Monday I would have moved the start line again.

But I didn't I went to bed instead, and today I got on my bike for the first time in a month and did 20km. I'm not logging food, I don't want to. Not because I'm eating badly, I'm not, but because I don't want it to overtake me again. I think I know enough about food that as long as I'm reasonably sensible, I can handle it without letting the numbers kill me. It was never a case of not knowing what I should eat, but ignoring them in favour of other things. I'm continuing with my cooking because I enjoy it, but easing off on the desserts and baking.

It's not a lot, but I've done more for myself today than I did yesterday, and I can live with that.

3 comments:

Tully said...

That is exactly why I don't count calories or write down my food, it just causes too much obsession on food.

Good work on getting back on the bike, 20km- wow!

Lauren said...

that's how I'm feeling about food now too. Let's do it!

SeaShore said...

Good for you for not going to the supermarket when you knew it was a dangerous place to go! Well done on the 20k on you bike, too.