Thursday, May 28, 2009

Checking in

This is just a quickie to let you all know what's going on. Things were quite up and down after my last post, but the last two days have been good. I'm at a point where I need to spend less time writing about what I'm going to do and more time actually doing it. With that in mind I'm taking a short break. I'm only anticipating that this will be for a week or two, just while I get myself back together and know I can keep myself consistently on the right path, rather than the sporadic effort I've been putting in lately. Trying to keep writing on my blog every day in an attempt to keep myself accountable was making me focus on my food, but in a really bad way, which was causing me to burn out.

As I said, things have been better the last few days but I need a break from the account book for a while. I'll be back soon.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Quelle horreur

I managed to have a clean day eating and exercise yesterday, so I bit the bullet and weighed in. Actually, I stepped on the scale last night before bed (when will I learn!?) and nearly had a heart attack when I saw 105.4, but this morning was a much more reasonable 104kg. It kind of sucks that I gained over a kilo, but given what I had been eating it's hardly a surprise. I have a tendency to panic a little when I see a gain, but I have to remember that it's just 1.2kg. That's not insurmountable. Things like this can blow up into an impassable wall in our heads when in fact all it need mean is an extra week.

My next step will be to correct my sleeping. A little difficult with weekend almost upon me, but not impossible. When I'm exercising and not eating into the night then sleeping comes a bit easier, so I'm hoping it will fix itself, but I'll keep an eye on it for the next week and focus on bedtimes/getting up times. I've been waking up for school too late/super-tired and I kind of hate it.

My supervisor gave me a paper for the mandatory teacher health check (we have one every year), it's on July 28th. The last time I had one of those I weighed 114kg and had a note in Japanese expressing concern over the fact that I'd gained 12-13kg in a year. I really want to be under 100 before I go again.

It's theoretically possible for me to make my 100km goal if I do 40km tonight, we'll see how it goes. The new strap still hasn't arrived so it's been driving me a little crazy. I'm in desperate need of new DVDs, it's amazing how many I go through when I exercise every day. I'll be able to pick up some cheap ones in Korea, but until then I'm going have to find something to fill the gap, I'm so bored with all the ones I have now. Amazon has some good sales on right now (I got the British DVD of the Canadian show 'Blood Ties' for only £5, and the British version has all the episodes instead of splitting it into two the way the US version did!) but I'm trying not to spend too much money at them moment. Now I'm back in the black I want to save, not spend, but my mum is putting some birthday money into my account so maybe I'll treat myself with some of it.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Let's try this again

I'm not going to lie to you, it's been a bad week.

I didn't exercise for 6 days, 6 days you guys.

I really thought last time I posted that I was going to get through it relatively unscathed, but it didn't happen, and the thought of my birthday (which was on the 18th) was bothering me more than I was admitting, and I feel like I just went mad. I stopped logging my food. I stopped reading blogs (so sorry for the lack of comments this week).

But now my birthday is over and I'm feeling better. I have a dinner out on Saturday but I think I can handle it. I spent the last few days looking a short trips in Asia for September because we have a group of public holidays coming up, and yesterday made inquires at a travel agent about a cheap flight I saw to Korea. They got back to me and I accepted so I'm going to Seoul in a few months time. It will be my first time in Korea (even though it's only a short trip, I get 5 full days as I arrive late night and leave early morning, hence the cheap fare) and I'm looking forward to it. My supervisor is going to take me to the bank to help me with the money transfer this afternoon (the chances are high to very high that I'd screw up the kanji by myself) and I've booked my hostel. This is all very exciting!

I exercised last night for the first time in a while and it felt good to knock 40km out, even if it was slow. I was going to wait until I had a few better days under my belt before I posted anything here, especially after I posted last time and then went off the rails, but I want to capture this mood and keep it. I leave September 17th so that's just under 4 months away, for some reason that feels more tangible, more real, than the hazy goal of Christmas. Korea should also be a good dry run for the plane too, it's only a short flight (2 hours) so it will be a small plane. If I can be comfortable this trip I will be totally fine for the long-haul flight home.

Things are looking brighter.

Friday, May 15, 2009

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.”

I binged last night and it's made me feel surprisingly calm this morning. I've decided not to weigh in this week because I have the enkai tonight so I think the number will make me want to cry, but it's safe to assume it's a gain, and probably not a small one. I'll update the number when I think it won't knock me back. I don't keep junk/trigger food in the house so I went to the 24hr supermarket a minute or so walk away to get my fix, but I couldn't finish all the food I bought as it was making me feel sick. How did I used to eat so much on my binges before? It's been a couple of months since I had this problem last and I did a fair bit of damage, and yet I know I went through a period whee I was binging almost every night and was eating a lot more.

Things are OK today, in fact more than OK, I'm feeling positively chipper. I'm not sure why but let's go with it. I still have all the food in the world coming tonight, but my brain chemistry seems to have leveled off a little so I'm not (currently) in the depths of despair. I took a vacation day yesterday because I didn't go to bed until about 3am and that meant I felt sick when I woke up in the morning, so I decided not to go in as I had no lessons. I really should sort out my sleep, I was more on track when I was sleeping proper hours. I've finished my one lesson for today and have decided to use a little vacation on the rest of today too. I guess I'm just kind of sick of this week and want it to be over? I'm fed up of just sitting here with nothing to do. It's exam week next week so I'm going to have looooooads of time to plan lessons and stuff as there are no lessons, so I don't need to do it today.

I'm going to do what I can to stay positive, and not to binge for the rest of today just because I have this dinner coming. Tomorrow is the start of my week in terms of dieting so I'll start fresh and try to have a really clean week. I want to get in a good amount of exercise today as I've been slacking and my pedal isn't fixed yet, but I won the auction so the new strap should be with me soon.

I'm trying guys. It's not easy, but in the end I find this easier mentally than feeling worthless because I binged or haven't exercised, even if I forget that sometimes.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

No pressure kid

Child 1lb Overweight Sent Obesity Warning

Still here, still struggling. I have an enkai to go to tomorrow night to welcome the new English teachers that there is no getting out of, I saw a gain for the week on the scale this morning (with no real hope of getting rid of it in time for WI because of Friday night), I'm still feeling kind of depressed, and all I really want to do is eat and eat and eat.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Receeding

I'm a little stuck for things to say. The first day I didn't update because I had a bad day, ate about a thousand over calories but then didn't exercise! I'm not sure why. Usually I don't worry to hard about calorie count because the amount of biking I do means I can even it out or still come out on top, but then I was really tired and just decided not to. It kind of bummed me out.

Yesterday food was better and not. I ate within calories, but only because I chose to count the cookies I'd eaten as dinner. I did do my exercise (30km) so that's back on and fine. I don't know you guys, I'm keeping up and not letting myself dig too deep of a hole, but I've really been feeling blah this week and I don't like it. Also, the humidity has been giving us a small taste of what summer is going to be like and that makes me so sleepy at the end of the day (when it starts to cool down and ease off), which means that even if I were feeling at my most genki I would be having to push myself a little more to get up and do stuff.

It's odd, this is the first time I've struggled, properly struggled past a momentary longing, for the last few months and I hate being back here.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Indianapolis to Denver

I have a rule when running that I have to stop on a point that's divisible by 5, so 5km, 10km, 15km etc. It was to stop me from petering out on a bike and giving up, if I want to stop it has to be on one of those numbers. Today I made an exception. I did 30km this morning and I just finished 24.6km. An odd number to stop on be sure, so why did I choose it?

Because I needed 24.6kn to get to a total of 1609.4km since I bought the bike. The significance of this (for anyone who doesn't work with the metric-imperial conversions too well) is that it means I have now biked a total of 1000 miles.

Awe. Some.

Sadly, tribute must be paid for those who died in the attempt of this achievement.

During my last leg to victory I managed to snap not just one but two of my pedal size holder notch things and now need to get a new strap for it. I have no idea how to go about this, so any advice on where I can get them from that will ship worldwide would be great.

So yeah, feeling good. It's kind of strange, when I bought it I never thought I'd get so far with it. I've heard the phrase 'a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step' before, but never thought I'd ever be able to say it literally. Well, for anyone just starting out who thinks they can't keep up with it, if someone of my weight can go from doing nothing but a walk to school to a thousand miles in 93 days, then I'm sure you can too.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

*Breathe*

Okay, the day is almost over.

This morning's rant sent me off to the supermarket angry, lunch consisted of a curry/egg doughnut and a mini pizza ball, followed by a glazed doughnut for dessert - healthy! I moped around for a bit before finally getting over myself. Thankfully I'm now feeling entirely less self-indulgent. I logged everything and have ended up fine for the day so I suppose it wasn't the end of the world, compared to my binges of old at least relatively little damage was done.

I found a movie to watch and got on my bike and ended up quite surprising myself. The last few days my workouts have made the distance but have felt like I haven't been really pushing it. Today I biked through the entire movie (Wimbledon) and made it to 50km. I did it all in one go so that makes it the longest jaunt I've done on my bike since I bought it, and thus the longest time I spent on it at 95min 46sec. After I was done I didn't feel like having a whole meal like the dinner I had planned, so I made a nice smoothie. It's been hot today, even now, so it really hit the spot.

All in all the day has finished a lot better than it started.

Saturday WI

Why Scale, we're in quite a mood this morning aren't we?

Weight Today: 102.8kg/226.1lbs
Difference: -0.6kg/1.3lbs

I was at 102.2kg earlier this week, in fact I held below what I am now for the entire week, even during my period. Son of a Bitch.

I'm really angry about my weigh in today. Yes, I know, any loss is good blah blah blah, but I didn't deserve to see this number as I had lost twice that.

I had one day this week (3 days ago!) where I ate out of turn. I went out for dinner and the damage was somewhere in the region of an extra 350 calories. That's 0.1lb, not 0.6kg. I don't know exactly why this has made me so angry, but it has. I had a hard week this week, my period came and I didn't binge - I didn't binge at any point - do you know how difficult that is for me?

The weather was awful all week and mentally that really wore me down almost 7 days of straight rain (and by straight I means continuous, it didn't stop at all) but I kept plodding along and forcing myself to get my kilometers in. It's been a slightly depressing week because my birthday is coming up but there are other events happening that people had already agreed to go to (that I won't be part of) so thus far no one is free on either weekend around the date, so my attempts to organised a get-together have failed.

But despite that I kept my food and exercise on track, it was the one thing keeping me balanced. I had a good number and there is no good reason for me to not have it today, I deserve it.

Fuck.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Tagged

Thank you to BlenderGirl at Time to Uncover the Real Me for tagging me with this award!


For my five blogs I choose:

Ani @ Ani Pesto, an awesome girl whom I feel very much 'on the same page' as when it comes to weight loss.
Tully @ You Would Be Pretty If..., she's having a hard time at the moment but I identify with her on so many of the things she writes.
Hanlie @ Fertile Healthy, one of my regular reads and a great source of info.
Chubby Chick @ Journeying to Lose 200lbs, is always supportive and encouraging others, no matter what may be happening.
Chubrubb @ The Chub Fight, fresh back from Rome (lucky girl!) I really enjoy reading her.

Here are the rules for those who are tagged:

Pass it along to 5 fellow super bloggers, and comment on their blog to let them know how lucky they are today!When you present your Super Blogger awards, link back to the super blogger who gave it to you.

TGIF

My God, today has been one giant rush around. I had a class to teach second period and worksheets to make for my third year class that were fiddly that just kept me busy busy busy. The lesson wasn't bad, but was the worst I've had with that class so far. It wasn't really their fault though, (or at least, not a problem with them in particular). We've only just come off of Golden Week vacation so it's been a two day week, and they have exams coming up week after next. Which basically means that there was going to be no way their minds would be on their lesson. They did better than I thought they would and tried their best, but they were very easily distracted and talking to each other a lot more.

Man, I did not get enough sleep last night at all (spent three hours looking for what should have been a really easy to find worksheet, but no, I had to draw one from scratch). I was dreading today a little because I knew I had a lot to do, and it led to feeling like everything was going wrong. I woke up late, missed breakfast, grabbed a banana and went to throw some yogurt raisin/almond mix into a container to replace it, only to realise that I didn't have a second pack of almonds like I thought. My work was taking longer than I thought so I ended up working through lunchtime instead of being able to go buy some food, which means my total intake today has been the banana and 30g of raisins with the 7 or so almonds I salvaged from the bottom of the pack. And that was at 9am. I've just finished my lesson so I can now relax, I'm done with my work for the day.

I don't want this post to be one huge complaint so I'm going to end with the positive that after almost 7 days of uninterrupted pouring, the rain has finally stopped, and in the last hour the grizzly, overcast sky has given way to blue. The forecast says it's going to stay that way for the next few days, my lessons are over, the weekend is less than an hour away, and I have a chocolate coffee to keep me company. It's going to be OK.

I have no idea what I weigh. I know I was up before, but forgot to check this morning in the panic, and even if I had probably wouldn't have liked it because of how little sleep I'd had. I saw a low of 102.2 this week so I'd love to see that again tomorrow, but I'll just have to get my workout in tonight and see what happens with the scale.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Workhouse, glorious workhouse

I'm back at school and time has not improved it. The alarm went off this morning and I was tired enough that the first alarm just got incorporated into what I was dreaming, thank goodness for the snooze. Once I was half way awake my stomach started actively shouting 'feed me you bastard!' and I had to get up for breakfast. It's not usually that insistent of a morning, like me it needs half an hour before it's properly awake and able to process things, but I guess that's what happens when you feed it mostly fruit and carbs the day before.

I had such a nice lunch planned and have now cocked it up by realising that I left my protein on the kitchen table - oh noes! I should have cucumber sticks and salsa, a tin of tuna, an almond and yogurt covered raisin mixture, and a banana. Without the protein to help I think it's going to be a long afternoon.

Oh, oh - And! I realised while lying in bed last night that I had forgotten to put something into daily plate and was therefore more over than I thought, FAIL. I was up this morning which was expected, but still I thought a kilo was a bit excessive. I suppose it's irrelevant as I am refusing to count it for motivational purposes. If it doesn't disappear tomorrow then I'll put it up but until then: nothing doin'.

On to non-weight related news.

1) WTF is up with the new Kindle DX from Amazon? $489 just two months after the last incarnation of the Kindle was revealed? I think Sarah from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books says it best: "Keep it coming, Amazon. I’m enjoying this a lot. I can has moar fail please? kthxbye”.

2) Am I completely going to hell for finding Swine Flu ridiculous? Not the illness itself obviously, but the reaction to it? I understand that you have to be careful but it really doesn't take much to whip Japan into a frenzy and it's not even in the country! Also, I know this is a serious thing, but every time flu comes around it kills people. People have been going nuts about this and I really think it should be treated like any other illness where precautions are taken and we go on with our lives. Ah well, I have a feeling pork is about to get a lot cheaper at the supermarket.

Ah! My stomach is rumbling again! And it's not being subtle! My stomach once rumbled so loud in a seminar at university that conversation actually stopped. Time to dig out my banana...

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Full

Okay, back, full. I've just plugged all my estimates into daily plate and it's showing me as being 75 over calories, so all in all it could have been worse. It makes me glad that I ate lightly after all. I think I could have made better choices as I ate after I felt full, but that's something I'll have to try and tackle in the future.

I was thinking of getting back on my bike to make up the deficit (I went on it before I went out) but I'm tired and still feeling full so I think I'm going to leave it for tonight. I ate a lot later than I usually do and it was at a restaurant, so I'm expecting to see a gain tomorrow, but there is no reason for it to stick around past that. We popped into the supermarket on the way back so my friend could pick up some milk and I found some salsa, so I will take that with some cucumber to dip in it as part of my lunch tomorrow.

Okay, I have a lesson first period tomorrow so I have to make sure to be up early...

*Grooowwwll*

HungryHungryHungry....

I've eaten very lightly today because I'm meeting a friend for dinner and don't know where we'll end up going. Unfortunately I'm not meeting her for another hour and my body is used to an earlier dinner.

Um..

I'm not sure how to write this without sounding like an ungrateful bitch, so I probably won't succeed. My apologies to anyone I offend, but this is seriously driving me crazy.

I love comments. It helps me stay on track when I feel like people are listening and care enough to respond, which is why I've put off writing this for the last couple of months, but I was reading through some old posts for motivation and noticed that this is getting more common and it's driving me crazy. Please be aware that I'm not pointing the finger at any one person when I say this.

If you're going to comment, please READ THE POST YOUR COMMENTING ON, and please DON'T LEAVE AN EXTRA LINK TO YOUR OWN WEBSITE AT THE END OF YOUR COMMENTS.

I cannot tell you how much this has been bugging me. I love comments, I hate hate HATE comments that are only there to advertise the commenter's blog. I understand that everyone loves comments too, and it's nice to get a comment back if you've posted on someones site, but there is a link for your blog/website in the comment form; use that and be done with it! I usually go to other peoples sites when they've commented on mine, and if I feel I've got something to say that's relevant or you're due a congratulations I'll post. I know where the link is, I promise.

There is no reason for the rage that extra link inspires, but inspire it it does and I'm much more likely to not comment because of it.

Another point of what I think of as 'blog advertising' is a little more subtle, and I think largely well-intentioned, so I wasn't sure about mentioning this, but it's been happening more over the last couple of month so I will. It sounds obvious, but please read what our commenting on before posting. I've had a lot of advice recently that if you read what I've written either makes no sense or I've already said I'm doing. As I said, some of this is well intentioned, people who are doing well in their plans and are so eager to give advice that they skim through the post and then get writing.

On a slightly related note, thank you for your congratulations but I didn't lose 50lbs, I just said that if/when I got there I would post a picture.

As I said, I don't mean to offend anyone and I'm sorry if this has. This is not a personal attack on anyone and I don't want to lose readers or make people scared of commenting, but while I find the first an annoying habit, the second is really demotivating because it tells me that no matter how nice the comment is nobody is actually bothering to read.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Bollocks

I just left my house for the first time in 4 days to walk to the supermarket in the pouring rain to get some cans of chopped tomatoes (and a few other things) so I could use them at dinner. I came home with two bags of food and no tomatoes! Screw this guys, I'm not going out again. Sadly the tomatoes were kind of vital to my dinner plans, so now I'm going to have to think of something else. I indulged in a less healthy lunch (shrimp tempura sushi roll and an Oreo bar. Mmm... chocolate...) so I wanted dinner to be more balanced, but now I'm not sure. Maybe I'll make a nice vegetable omelet/scrambled eggs (er.. which one I have depends on how successful the flip over is when I'm cooking it).

Still feeling good and woke up down again this morning (completely unheard of during this particular time). With all my free time I've gone on a bit of a period drama/movie craze. I've always liked them, but I'm just on the mood for them now, and the rain has made it a perfect time to just relax in front of the TV. Don't worry, exercise is still getting done (especially considering I haven't been/won't be walking to school much this week) but I've been shockingly lazy otherwise. I cleaned out a couple my rooms though (my bedroom and the junk room that I gave up on and left for dead a few months ago) and will have a thorough vacuum and clean out of my kitchen and living room before I start work again on Thursday so things will be nice.

I'm getting closer to double digits! When I get to 95.8kg I'll post a before and now pic because I'll be 50lbs down. 6.4 more kilos to go though.

Aww, the 'first birthday baby' pic I put in the last post makes me not want to update so that it can be the first thing I see when I load my page..

Monday, May 4, 2009

Good things


It's Debiggering's 1 year anniversary, no-calorie cake for all!

Now, I've had blogs for years, before this I had The Cakehole, and before that (during one of my more successful weight loss stints) I remember having a blog called Self/Image, but a year ago today I decided I needed to shake out the dust and have a fresh start on this whole dieting thing.

When I left my old blog I weighed just over 110kg, a number I settled at for quite a while, but it would take me another 10 months and getting up to 118.6kg before I finally managed to get myself together and rededicate myself to losing, and I started this year just 0.4kg below where I was when I started this blog. But, deciding that we can't change what's behind us, I moved on. So, where am I today?

This morning Auntie Flo arrived, but despite the fact that today is usually my heaviest time I weighed in at a new low of 102.6kg. This is the first period I haven't binged in the lead up to/during, so I'm hoping to really focus and keep that up. It doesn't seem like a huge thing, but my period often leads to a week or more of really terrible nightly binging, making it hard to get back on track even when it's over.

Yesterday I spent a total of 122 minutes on my exercise bike. I did a total distance of 60km. Now, that wasn't all together (I did a 20km and then a 40) and it definitely wasn't the fastest time in the world, but it's a new personal best in both duration and distance for any one day and I know that a year ago (and hell, even when I first arrived in Japan and weighed what I weigh now) I couldn't have done it.

I have managed to make exercise a habit, a feat I never thought possible. I've become more active in years past because I've been living away from home and I don't drive, so walking everywhere has become much more a part of everyday life, but exercise (true, planned exercise) is something I've always hated. During better times I could feel a certain sense of satisfaction at finishing a workout, but it was always an effort to start. Always. And if I missed a day, it was difficult, if not impossible, to get back to.

Even though there were times when I hit a new low (or, ugh, high), I've also managed to get myself back down from it, and get myself out of debt while I was at it (a feat I will repeat in a couple of weeks when I finish paying off my plane ticket). New Year 2008 I was sitting in a hotel room in Bangkok making a list of New Year Resolutions, and those were my two big things I wanted to sort out. I'm not there yet, but I think there were worse ways I could have spent this year.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Victory

I made it to bed last night without giving in to the binge impulse so I'm very happy with myself. I woke up this morning with the reward of being down to 103, no sign of Auntie Flo yet so maybe I can get below 103 before she arrives? We'll see.

So far my food has been awesome. I went grocery shopping a couple of days ago and the (expensive) frozen blueberries I added to my smoothies last week were nearly half price, as was the frozen mango. I took advantage and bought two, along with a pack of the mango (that I haven't tried before). Because of the holidays I have more time to prepare and eat breakfast, so I had bran flakes with a chopped banana and milk, and a smoothie of strawberries, blueberries and banana, with a splash of milk. It's a big breakfast (and higher calorie) but it's super-healthy, and really refreshing now that the weather is moving up to the wrong side of warm. I had a light lunch of tuna, cucumber (my love affair with sliced cucumber continues but I can't help myself, it's so good cool from the fridge), and dressing. I have a beef/tomato/veg mix to be served over broccoli planned for dinner, so my plan to eat more balanced food is going really well.

I didn't end up exercising yesterday, and my knee feels much better for it, so I'm glad. It would seem it didn't cause me any kind of set back so things are great. I'm going to get changed (I had no plans today so stayed in my night shirt, lazy? Yes, am I bothered? No) and put on my Family Guy DVD so I can get my workout done. Hope everyone's Sunday is going well!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Warning: Unedited ramblings

I know I've already updated once for today, but I suddenly have an urge to binge and I thought maybe writing would help me wait it out. This will probably ramble quite a bit, feel free to turn back now.

I certainly hope my 'time of the month' theory is right because this is the first time I've had a properly strong urge to stuff myself since... well, last time I was on my period actually. I've got an odd craving for pork pies that has come out of nowhere, and I really want some crunchy, biscuit-y chocolate. It's definitely not hunger because I ate really cleanly today and was actually about 100 calories over what I should have been. I was planning on getting on my bike (as always) so it wasn't going to be an issue, but my knee has really been bothering me today so I'm thinking of giving it a rest.

It could partly be an emotional response because a lot of my friends are off doing stuff for Golden Week and I'm here in my apartment, as well as a quasi-thing happening with a friend I was going to visit but am now not which is making me feel bad. Mix that in with a faint PMS feeling and that way there be dragons.

Ah! Friend just called and we sorted things out (argh, I don't want to go into details here but basically I canceled on her because of another person there but couldn't explain that to her on the phone because the other person would hear and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings), I'm still not going but we're fine and she understands.

Hmm, weirdly my worst cravings are now gone. Guess it was emotional after all? Or I've just been typing long enough that the craving has passed. Jesus this is going to be a long 'visit' at this rate. So, I suppose that now makes this rambling post redundant. I'll press publish anyway, maybe it can serve as a lesson to not give up and walk to the store straight away.

Saturday WI

I was hoping to shave a little more off my weight before the week was over, but my body had other ideas.

Weight Today: 103.4kg/227.5lbs
Difference: -1.2kg/2.6lbs

I held steady at 103.2 for the best part of the week, then I went up to .6 yesterday and down to .4 today. I'm feeling kind of heavy though which tells me that my period may be coming in the next couple of days. According to my medhelp chart I am due in 5 days, but I've never run like clockwork in that area. If my hunch ends up being right then it could actually be a good thing because this would be a much smaller gain than I usually have around this time, which hopefully would mean I can look forward to seeing a drop in the numbers once I'm finished.

That's what I'm hoping anyway, else I'm in for a frustrating week.

Goals for the next week: My water and exercise have been fine so keep up with that, my food has been OK and under calories, but could be a little more balanced? So try and focus on that a little more this week.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Okay

Okay, so for 'breakfast' I found a peanut butter cracker pack in my desk and ate it. Not at all what I wanted but it was that or have to shout over my stomach rumbling through my second period class, so I went for it. I went to the store for lunch but made some good choices (a sandwich, a small salad, a yogurt that I've just remembered I left in the fridge at school, and a snack pack of all bran strawberry and milk crisp things). The weather stayed really warm so I had my smoothie when I got in from work, it was delicious. I have just taken out some chicken to defrost for dinner, but now I'm thinking I might have what I had originally planned for lunch instead (a sardine and tomato paste sandwich, sliced cucumber and bell pepper, a little dressing on the side) because it's still gorgeous out and that has put me in the mood for fresh things. I have 5 days until I have to be in school again. All in all my day has turned out a lot better than the beginning promised it would.

Edit: I had been looking forward to the lunch I missed so I decided to go ahead and have it for dinner:

I love it when I get a meal that exactly hits what I want.

Damn

I had some good plans for this morning. I was going to get up, have a nice breakfast of branflakes with chopped banana and milk, and maybe even one of the strawberry/blueberry smoothies I made the other day because the weather has gone warm again. I was going to make a sandwich for work as I ended up having sushi for dinner last night so I didn't have my usual leftovers. I even went shopping yesterday for bread/milk/fruit because I'd run out.

Sadly none of that happened because I overslept and had to leg it to school. I'm now sitting here hungry because I had no time for breakfast, lunch-less, with the knowledge that I have to teach a class before I can go and buy something (and whatever I buy will not be as nice as the lunch I had planned that I was really looking forward too). It's a hard life. I did end up exceeding last months total thanks to the 30km I did last night, so that was something good at least.

I just need to get through today and then it's Golden Week, which means 5 days of public holidays so no school. Is it a bad sign that I want the day to be over given that it's only 09:07?