Monday, April 20, 2009

Temptations, table of one?

Welcome to Dieter's Hell, please wipe your feet.

So, it seems I have progressed from thinking about treats I want to summoning them out of thin air.

I've been feeling a bit on edge today. I've no doubt that it's from the stress at work that I mentioned last post, but I've noticed that I've been wanting to eat. I haven't hit full binge mode, but earlier I noticed that my thoughts were turning to food, and that I was musing (internally) about the things that I could have. I wasn't quite up to the bargaining stage yet (does anyone else do that? Start reasoning with yourself?) but I could feel a definite change of direction in terms of my thoughts, a mild resentment of myself and of the fact that I wasn't eating crap.

Fast forward to this evening. I waited a little too late for dinner so I'm a bit hungry, but I've got something healthy cooking and it's nearly done, so it's not the end of the world. Then comes a knock on the door. It's a delivery man.

During my last bout of PMS induced eating madness (a couple of weeks ago for anyone keeping track), I ordered a load of British food/sweets online. The surface reason (to make it 'OK') was that we're having an Easter hunt with the English Club at school tomorrow and we needed prizes, the real reason was that I wanted to binge. The box of stuff arrived to day.

It's insane.

I've used the same divide and conquer method I put into place when my mum sent me that box of goodies a little while ago. I have a carrier bag with a Smarties Easter Egg, a 6 pack of Cadbury Creme Eggs, a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs, and a pack of Fry's Turkish Delight (a gift for my friend who mentioned she loved it) in it to go to school tomorrow. And a whole crap load of other stuff left.

I had a bad moment when I said "ooooh, chocolate HobNobs! I forgot I ordered you!" and then shoved one straight in my mouth before stopping to think, but luckily I came to my senses before the rest of the tube followed suit. It's now tucked away behind the baked beans. I separated the milk chocolate Lindor truffles into baggies of 3 (220kcals per bag) and put them in the freezer, along with half the king-size Twix bar, a 9 bar multi-pack of Mars Bars (259kcals each - a 9 pack! What was I thinking?!), and baggied portions of mini eggs. I also have a box of Cherry Bakewell Tarts that I'm researching online to see if they can freeze too. If I can't I'll save one for myself and take the rest into school for some teachers.

I look at it now and it kind of amazes me what I ordered, and how much! I have non-sweet things like deodorant, two tins of baked beans, onion sauce, sardine and tomato paste, things I seem to remember wanting, but I was really putting in my basket to make it look like I was legitimately shopping rather than just binging.

Final tally for eating was half a king-size Twix bar (208kcals), one chocolate HobNob biscuit (92kcals), and a single Lindor Truffle (79kcals). This puts me at 155kcals over for the day, but I haven't exercised yet so that's fine.

I don't think being under calories will be a problem for a while?

Oddly, I'm actually feeling kind of good right now. Not panicked like I was when it arrived at least. I feel in control of myself, happy that I dealt with this rationally, and able to include a portion of these sweets with my eating each day sensibly. Remind me of this if it all goes pear shaped 'kay?


Wei Sic Meow said...

Nice handling of the situation, sounds like you've got it under control. The idea of freezing stuff in portions is genius!

Anonymous said...

HOBNOBS!!!! Nice willpower there :-D

Lauren said...

Sounds like you are doing a great job. Um...if you need to get rid of those cadbury mini eggs, feel free to send some this away. just reading about them made me drool.

Doc Manette said...

You did great!

And I loved the post about the student who complimented you on your weight loss (your face look slender).

Love it!

That's the reward, right!

Cammy@TippyToeDiet said...

Considering how much stress you've been feeling, it's especially wonderful that you were able to portion out your snacks like that. But then again, it's not that surprising, because you are proving yourself to be very ABLE of handling these things. Keep up the great work!

Journo June aka MamaBear said...

You are making me drool at the thought of some of my favorite Brit goodies. :-) Sounds like you are doing a great job of limiting yourself on treats and that's awesome!
Path to Health