Tuesday, February 3, 2009

And so it goes

I seemed set to have a good day today, and did until about 4pm. I got up in time to have a proper breakfast, and made good choices when I went out for lunch (Tuesday is my lunch out day) so wasn't hungry at work as I often am. Things were going great until last period when I realised we had forgotten to buy snacks for the English club kids. I ran to the store and got two packs of snacks and then ate one of the bags.

Er, whoops.

They were weenie little chocolate cornflake bars, coming in at 35 calories each, which for the bag means 490 calories (lots of it sugar) that I really shouldn't have scoffed. To make things worse I got home and was in full on binge mode. With nothing in the house I went to the supermarket, thankfully I seemed to reign it in a little once I got there and start thinking. I walked around the store with a pack of choux cream buns in my cart for about 20 minutes before I put them back. I did walk out with some cooked sesame panko encrusted fried chicken pieces that I ate as soon as I got home. I somehow managed to leave the other unhealthy food on the shelves though. I started shopping for other healthy things I would need after I had gorged myself so I could negate the guilt in my head by getting right back to it, and as I did the need to eat loosened its grip a bit. By the time I had put the veg, tofu, and cheese in my cart I had taken most the other food out.

It doesn't excuse it. I had a bad moment and I'm glad I didn't compound it too much by eating myself sick 'because I may as well now'. Even if it was a really close call.

I'm also glad I blogged about this after all, when my first instinct was to pretend it never happened and just not tell anyone. I put all my food into daily plate and miraculously came out under calories (but literally by the skin of my teeth), so I'm hoping it doesn't damage me too much on the scale, and that my cravings don't go insane from my indulging my sweet tooth.

Tomorrow is another day I guess.

8 comments:

Wei Sic Meow said...

What is with those momentary insanity moments? We've all been there. Well done for reigning it in though. You'll probably find the damage was minimal.

Scale Junkie said...

YAY for putting those things back. I'm so guilty of putting things in my cart and then putting them back but hey its good exercise circling the store again to put things back again.

Mrs. Darling said...

We all have those times and isnt that the beauty of the Internet? There's such a huge support group out there. It makes this dieting road not quite so lonely!

Mary said...

I just read through the last several posts and I must say I admire your sticktoitiveness. Rest assured we all have those moments. Just keep going! It gets easier with time!
Mary

kathrynoh said...

If you're been eating under your calories for the past few days then having a bit of a binge/higher calorie day isn't going to do any harm, might actually help your metabolism :D

ani pesto said...

Well done for putting all that stuff back. It's a great feeling to know you can do it, you deserve to be proud of it (even despite the snack packs) and pat yourself on the back for your level of accountability, writing about it is an awesome way to put it behind you fresh for a fab day tomorrow.

Jim Purdy said...

It seems like it's a constant struggle against self-sabotage, isn't it? I know what I should eat, but my IBM (Inner Binge Monster) seems to take over at times.

SeaShore said...

I say good for you! It's hard enough to pull yourself out of binge mode, but to do so at the grocery store? I'm impressed! Good job.