Monday, November 24, 2008

Salvation

I was fully prepared to ignore weigh-in this week. It's really been terrible, and at one point this week I stepped on the scale and saw a number over 110KG, which made me pretty miserable. Apparently not miserable enough to put down the cookies, but then negative reinforcement has never been much of a motivator for me.

Just now I jumped on the scale before I could convince myself not too. I didn't really want to see that number again but I figured I should know even if I don't admit it here. I was little scared it would lead to me hitting the supermarket again but as that wouldn't be any worse than what I was already doing, I decided I may as well know the damage.

Imagine my relief when the scale threw me a 109.2KG. I never thought I'd be happy to see that number again, and a gain at that! It's 0.2KG/0.5LBS higher than last week, but that's all and I count myself as very fortunate. It means that I'm juuuust back in the 240s which sucks, but it also means that I don't have to change my snowman.

It's been a very up and down week emotionally, swinging between rationally knowing that gains happen and it will be easy to straighten things out again because I know what I did wrong, and completely losing hope that going through this is worth anything because it will just end up like all the other tries. Thankfully I'm currently a little closer to the former than the latter at the moment, but we'll see how it goes.

3 comments:

Mrs. Darling said...

I hear ya. This is where ive been for three weeks now. We really can do this!

http://dietingisnotapieceofcake.blogspot.com

Tully said...

Yay- so glad no big damage was done! Good on your for facing up to it, I know it can be easier to hide and just say you'll do better next week. It must have been so encouraging to see that you haven't reversed any of your hard work. You'll see the 230's again soon!

Let me just say that I would kill to see 110 kilos on the scale right now... ;-)

Cammy said...

Not a bad gain at all! I understand the aftermath of a gain (especially when it's one that's larger than you thought possible), but we can't let those derail us completely. I'm glad you have the strength and tenacity to fight your way through it!